MOSTLY. MAYBE. I'M NOT SURE.

Let's see. The theme of the day is supposed to be anxiety - as prescribed by my professor. Not the anxiety, but the theme, which is anxiety, so yeah. Let's see here. What do I get anxious about? Besides the aforementioned long slow moving lines, crowded rooms, theatres and stadiums - I'm decently together, but there's still some shit that makes me nervous, sweaty, worrisome and ultimately a bit mad (at myself and the not yet mentioned anxiety). Unpredictable neighbours with annoying ass voices, 2 equally annoying ass dogs (again, no offence to the dogs), a tendency to openly complain about anything, anybody, anywhere, and who might have something wrong with them emotionally and perhaps maybe even mentally. A surefire plan for some surefire clashing. If you're into that sort of shit. I like being nice to most people. Not super nice, just mostly cordial - and friendly enough to get by without a lot of unneeded contact.(Unless I instantly don't like you, which unfortunately [sometimes for even me] is unfortunate, yet necessary) When one gets to a certain age, one doesn't always necessarily feel the urge to seek out and obtain new friends, or respond well to those who seek them out as new obtainable friends. There comes a time (usually in your late twenties during the third phase out period) that one probably doesn't need any new friends in their life to feel right about their place in society. I'm sure it is not like that for all people, but then there is probably a reason why some people feel inclined to, 'always be looking.' I might sound cynical, scared and a little mean, or am I only being honest? Or just cynical, scared and a little mean? Is it worse to not want new friends or to want to make new friends? Think about it. The older one gets, the more one splits away from, even one's best of friends (b/c of moving away, different lives, fill in the blank),and when one does finally get together (it doesn't always happen)with said missing and 'old' friends - is it not as if they're almost 'new' friends again? (Even though when one gets together with said old friends, we try our hardest to avoid the present and future but our damnedest to remember the past)How many present, old 'new' and brand 'new' friends does one person really need to survive comfortably and with adequate support? Especially when one goes to school full time, or plays in a five piece rock 'n roll band, or relies on a woman's cruiser for transportation but likes it, or has a great girlfriend one doesn't see enough, or likes to play NHL '09 or NHL '07 (depending on one's whereabouts), or enjoys all sports (especially baseball), or goes out from time to time, or enjoys spending time with family at home or friends on the driveway, or enjoys spending time alone. It's tough. As is walking into something big, and totally unprepared for what you're about to (or supposed to) do. Another reason for anxiety. Other than the stuff in one's head that is altering brain cells, forcing and delaying random mis-firings, while ultimately triggering unnecessary and uncomfortable reactions - anxiety might be mostly brought on about by one's self. Alone. Not one's head, but rather, one's fault. Mostly. Maybe. I'm not sure.