"Try and have fun at whatever you do in life. And, don't forget to smile." - a quote from a site dedicated to Rick 'The Temp' Campanelli.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

A SHORT IRRELEVANT STORY ABOUT...


Well, since so many responded to my invitation of happiness, hope, and intrigue, I'll tell you the story of a man and his bike. This man I know rode his bike from east to west, a trip totaling no more than 15 kilometres and no less than 11. Not only was this man wearing white plastic clogs and a canary yellow cardigan, but this was his first bike ride of the year --- o ya, and the cardigan had holes in its pockets and the bike's tires were fairly flat. This man was also bald and wearing shorts. On top of all this, it was an above normal shitty windy Windsor day. And a tad cold too. "Goddammit," said the man, as he courageously bit the head wind and persevered into the bone chillin' failin' grey sun. An hour later, with a wet forehead, cold neck and pumping blood, the man arrived at his desired destination. Well this was yesterday, and today, this same man made his second cycle journey of this young cycling season. This west to east trip totalled no more than 12 kilometres and no less than 9.3. (Actually it was exactly 9.3 kilometres because this man had earlier calculated the distance for an unspecified reason.) Well wouldn't you know it, but that bastard wind was back again. This time, however, it had hilariously changed directions and was now once again burning the man's patience and lower thighs. But again this determined man on his bike would not be deterred by the weather and its comedic blows. Arriving at his desired destination on this, his second cycling journey of this young cycling season, and after covering precisely 9.3 km of wind-stricken asphalt, the man cursed the sky above and then sat down for an undisclosed amount of time. After this time, the man got up, somewhat looking forward to a pleasant return trip home. Head filled with tail wind tales, the man stopped, and looked up at his newly acquired nemesis. "Goddammit," said the man as he licked his lips and batted his eyes. It was raining fairly hard. This man and his bike cannot catch a break --- in the weather.
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1 comment:

  1. up northApril 21, 2009 at 2:33 PM

    really like the descriptive yet humorous quality of your writing.

    ReplyDelete

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THE 1 THING I LEARNED TODAY

If you ride your bike in 4 completely different directions. You can tell exactly which way the wind is blowing. That is, if you're fairly good with directions.

TOP 7 BEST THINGS ABOUT CAMPING (in my opinion)

  • 1. Picking A Site (if there are any good ones left or any at all)
  • 2. Sleeping outside yet still really sleeping inside
  • 3. Smoke/Trees/Coolers Mosquitoes/Flashlights/Folding Chairs/Hot Dogs/Sand/Stars Sweatshirts/Swimming/Fried Fish/Air Mattresses/Good times
  • 4. Sitting at a picnic table, eating chips while reading a good book with a beer in hand, a fire being lit and a good nights sleep on the way.
  • 5. Drinking light beer all day so you don't have to stop drinking at all.
  • 6. The Drive There
  • 7. Going for a short walk around the campground with your g/f as smoke, laughter and song fill the air

32:2 The Joy of Forgiveness & Blacker Yet


BLACKER YET VIDEO PREMIERE

ETA ABUSE | MySpace Music Videos

GRETZKY AGE 16 # 9

"If opinions upon any of these matters had been chalked on the pavement, nobody would have stopped to read them. The nonchalance of the hurrying feet would have rubbed them out in half an hour" - Virginia Woolf, on important things.

TOP 7 FAVOURITE THINGS I PREFER TO DO WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY TIME

  • Write, record and then listen to a cool new song that I hope my friends and Mom will say they like
  • Turn on the radio, and watch television, but mute the volume
  • Ask the cat if he has any solid advice about mutual funds, or life in general
  • Call an equally bored friend in hopes of doing something fun together for as much time as possible or until one has to leave or doesn't want to hang out anymore
  • Wash the dishes. However, if there are not any dirty dishes, put the clean ones away. If there are no clean dishes to put away, make some dinner --- using the clean dishes you just put away
  • Go for long, extended, non-thought provoking bike rides down unfamiliar streets (only if the weather is comfortable)
  • Stroke my beard

Top 8 things that i've seen quite a few times but am still taken aback every time it happens

  • Someone saying something weird, thus making the situation awkward (myself included here)
  • An aggressive strike
  • An extra large poo (Gross but True) Dun dunt dunt dunt dunna nunna nunna (repeated)
  • Random Acts of Senseless Violence
  • An awesome double play/and or catch or an insane alley-oop or an amazing hockey save/and or goal or a crazy touchdown catch
  • Police Action
  • Nature/and or epic nature films
  • A celebrity death
You will never see a skater kid smoking cigarettes, but you will see him drinking Arizona Iced Tea in ill fitting jeans.
"If the forecast calls for rain, and you still decide to fix your roof, maybe you should consider re-scheduling - or work faster."

Top 1 thing I prefer to do in the rain

  • Staying Indoors

51.5 Degrees of Jason Primeau

  • Connection of Miscellaneous Words and Things
  • Connect Four
  • The Four Tops
  • The Final Four
  • The Fab Four
  • Liverpool
  • London
  • The Thames River
  • Rivers Cuomo
  • Joan Rivers
  • Obnoxious orange cat
  • Garfield
  • Garfunkel
  • Art
  • A mural
  • Intramural Sports
  • Extra curricular activity
  • Face Wash
  • Car Wash
  • Washing Vegetables
  • Cabbage
  • Cabbage Rolls
  • Chicken Balls
  • The Chinese Language
  • Don't understand it
  • The economy
  • A huge dissapointment
  • Dontrell Willis
  • Bruce Willis
  • Bruce Peninsula
  • Iberian Peninsula
  • Kingdom of Spain
  • Cocker Spaniel
  • Joe and Dog
  • Humans and Animals
  • Sitting /standing up/or walking
  • My position
  • Windsor
  • Has an OHL team
  • Does not have an OHL team
  • North Bay
  • Joe Maksoud
  • Billy Joel
  • Uptown Girl
  • Downtown Restaurant
  • Bubi's
  • Bubi's Sauce
  • Tomato Sauce
  • Primo's
  • Keith Primeau
  • Jason Primeau's cousin
  • Jason Primeau
"In baseball you gotta grow up fast." - Tommy Lasorda on why you can win with a young team.

"If you wanna win the World Series you gotta play for the name on the front of the jersey, not the one on the back. " - TL

Top 5 things I prefer doing while sitting

  • Unnecessarily honking car horns from the passenger seat
  • Drinking a coffee while reading a book about my favourite things in a well lit room with my favourite friends
  • Watching a good movie, but not a long movie (because then my back gets stiff)
  • Cruising aimlessly and without time constraints in the county
  • Going #2

Top 5 things I prefer not doing while standing

  • Going #2
  • Getting Punched in the stomach
  • Walking outside in the cold while holding an object that is blocking my line of sight
  • Sleeping
  • Running semi- far distances for semi-very long
"If your cat goes outside, it is convenient because it will poo outside. But if your cat's litter box is in the bathroom, it is convenient because you can flush the poo down the toilet."

"You will never see a Chinese man in public with his shirt off. But if you cough in public near a Chinese man, he will cover his mouth."