HEY, YOU GOT FACEBOOK?

Sure everyone's got an opinion and I'm one of those people. A lot of these people with opinions (myself included again) have opinions on facebook and its unrivaled contribution to the creation and maintenance of this whole cyber-community-collectiveness-too much openness-we-call-the-internet. Sure, I know that with every expression of an opinion comes the great chance of contradiction --- and again, I am no different than the norm, as I will show shortly. I once got sucked into the myspace vortex, (strictly for professional reasons) but could never bring myself to get the facebook. (although, I did have it for one week before hurriedly cancelling my account, eg. contradiction #1) For starters, I was shocked by how quickly people I knew, knew what I was going to do before I knew I was going to do it. I love my friends and family, but we gotsta draw the line of privacy somewhere. Preferably where I know what's going on in my head and you don't. Also, I don't need my parents to see pictures of me smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer at the same time. And, no offence to those people I don't know anymore from high school and my old jobs, but I don't know you anymore for a reason. A few reasons. Mainly, because we, 1) moved far away from each other because of school, work or reasons unknown, 2) lost touch before high school even ended because we were never really that close to begin with so a 'fake friendship' on-line should come off as weird and forced, or 3) because you are a much older/younger person than I and we have little or nothing in common with each other, but you were aware of my presence briefly at the factory and you just happened to remember my name or just happened to stumble upon a tagged pic of me at a party in one of your 'friends' picture archives. Now, I know what you're going to say. "Facebook is great because I can instantly connect with my friends and share photographs with my family that would otherwise be impossible." I remember the days (I believe they were called the 90's) when photographs of loved ones or parties or trips out west were shared through photo albums and picture frames --- in person. Facebook is the world's number one adversary of the family gathering. We've replaced Christmas with connections. Telephone calls and birthday wishes with unemotional typing and robot-like responses. (unless you put an emoticon before or after the greeting, because then your feelings become real). The race is to respond and the fastest runner wins more time at the computer. This, coming from the person who avoids (not because he doesn't love his family) many of these pre-mentioned activities, eg. contradiction #2. But, you may ask, Sir, how do we avoid something that is everywhere, always and so much a part of people's lives? Simple. Don't ever let people take pictures of you. Don't buy a computer or laptop or go anywhere where there are computers or laptops. Never take night courses at a community college to enhance your typing and/or 'surfing' skills and most importantly, don't make any new friends outside of normal, healthy interactions with real, living breathing people in everyday life circumstances. If we follow these easy steps we will reclaim our lives, our society, our privacy, our freedom, our creativity, and our ability to make our own decisions and to function like people. It's as easy as writing a hand written letter to a friend, or stopping in unexpectedly for a quick visit. This all coming from a person who types fairly fast, has two computers and started a blog so people will read it and look at his silly pictures, eg. contradiction #3.